relationship as adventure

It doesn’t matter which adventures you choose first – the real adventure, after all, is who you go with.

Since I last wrote,  I got engaged to a stud at Christmas and have planned a big wedding shindig for April 19! Less than four months, thank you very much. It’s been a blast. (See & enjoy a slice @ teamcherin.com!)

One of the things Chad and I did was two half-day pre-marital counseling sessions. This came with renting the church we are getting married at, and was put on by Grant and Emma Wood of Resonate Relationship Clinic in Overland Park, KS.

I’ve always viewed relationship as the ultimate adventure, whether it be romantic, family, friendship or other. Opening yourself up to real relationship and being vulnerable, is scary.

I am grateful that Chad isn’t shy when it comes to counseling, and we both think it takes courage and bravery to go (so *high fives* if you’ve ever been!). We think there is no shame in it either – both of us have gone individually over the past few years, around topics from anxiety, friendships, guilt, big life changes, depression, wanting to talk through things with someone but not sure what, family crap and more.

Grant and Emma, who facilitated our pre-marital counseling sessions, said how much healthier would relationships (marriages specifically) be if everyone looked at it like a bi-annual dentist appointment, or annual doc checkup. Instead of waiting for crisis, why not go when as a preventative measure? We are all evolving, learning, growing humans, and I agree that it would could just water to the soul, to your love!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’ve been asked by friends and family what I learned in our sessions. This is my way of compiling and sharing! Read & proceed at your own risk…

INTIMACY

• Intimacy = ‘Into me, see.’
• Emotional awareness & emotional engagement will keep your marriage together.
• Think, what’s my partner dreaming for, longing for?
• Protect your relationship, what you tell other people (especially family).
• Nothing is gossip between couples, nothing is off limits.
• If your spouse has been hurt or is in a conflict, seek to understand first. Dress the wound for your spouse, listen, soothe.
• Empathy, validation, support, affection, responsiveness.
• We are wired to connect — all of us long for it.
• How to stay attached – always be thinking/asking yourself about your partner “Where are you?” to be tuned in…gauge what is going on between you two, emotional closeness.
• Attachment is knowing we exist in our partners mind and heart (a wonderful thing!)
• SAFETY & SECURITY needs to exist in order to communicate clearly & openly, honest, connected – then you can be sure of your love.
• Distance (emotional) is alarming – this is always a problem for marriage.
• 4 Horsemen that threaten marriage: 1) Criticism, 2) Defensiveness, 3) Contempt, and 4) Stonewalling (dead, icy pattern)
• Men have just as many emotions as women.
• A sense of meaning & dreams: talk about your dreams for
  1. The way we treat each other
  2. How we spend leisure time
  3. Children & parenting
  4. Where we live
  5. Vocations
  6. Our spirituality
  7. What we do with our resources
  8. Rituals & rhythms

CONFLICT

• Healthy couples fight.
• Solve the solvable problems.
• Bend, don’t break.
• Lower your expectations of your partner.
• Yield to each other!
• Create the posture of how you do conflict, interact.
• Work on acceptance.
• What are the ‘DANCES’ you and your partner get into?
• Make the pattern of your conflict the enemy, NOT the person.
• You & your partner are on the SAME TEAM.
• Negative typs of dances:
  • Pursue –> –> Withdraw
  • Withdraw <– –> Withdraw
  • Attack –> <– Attack
• Recognize your dances, name them so you can call them out in conflict.
• Raw nerves that can draw up hurt/conflict (these need to be communicated to one another):
  • Fear of rejection
  • Abandonment
  • Feeling not good enough
  • Feeling like a failure, or fear of failure
  • Feeling unloved
  • Feeling controlled
  • Not being accepted or valued
  • Approval wound
  • *These are all “file cabinets” of related past hurts that come up every time a negative thing happens or hurts in your relationship 
• THE GOOD NEWS: Every moment, every fight, every tension is an opportunity for intimacy, for getting to know your partner more…
• Look up terms like “Flooding,” “Stonewalling,” “Fight or flight”…how people can react.
• Learn to self-soothe (or calm the eff down, haha).
• Be non-reactive.
• Focus on your own life/goals, not changing the other.
• TOXIC: blaming the other person.
• Learn to think: what are the issues under what we’re talking about?
• Our thoughts & emotions are there to guide us & show us things – they are great teachers but horrible masters.

FAMILY OF ORIGIN

• Plan a date night to talk about your families, how you grew up, memories good and bad.
• Talk together – what patterns do you want to repeat, or what do you want to stop and leave behind?
• What new patterns do you want to create together for your new family?
• Topic ideas, such as how each of your families handled conflict, spontaneity, criticisms, expectation, struggle, siblings, the good, unwritten rules, geography, ancestry, boundaries, etc.

SEX

• Ask one another: What’s our dream of how this looks in our lives?
• Sex should be a regular part of what you talk about.
• It can sometimes be an appetizer, sometimes be a five-course meal.
• Sex is HEALING for the relationship.
• Sex should be a priority &  a habit.
• Hinderances to sexual intimacy:
  1. Habit of criticism
  2. Anger & resentment,
  3. Failure to communicate
  4. Lack of trust
  5. Anxiety about appearance or body image
  6. Self-consciousness
     
  7. De-emphasizing the value of sex
  8. Predictable/mechanical sex
  9. Lack of sensitivity
  10. Absence of non-sexual physical touching (affection)
  11. Too much television
  12. Lack of exercise
  13. Poor nutrition
• Everyone is different – do what works for you! You & your partners’ needs.
• Foreplay is an endangered species.
  • Focus on the senses.
  • Take TIME.
  • Variety.
  • Communicate fantasies, dreams.
• Plan at least FOUR GETAWAYS together a year. Studies show sexual satisfaction skyrockets on getaways.
• Talk about things like:
  • How often do you prefer/expect sex?
  • What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
  • Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? Why or why not?
  • Your views on masturbation.
  • What sexual activities do you enjoy the most?

MARITAL SPIRITUALITY

• Your individual pursuit of God is so very important (a secret communion always going on inside of you).
• “Constantly practice the habit of inwardly gazing upon God.” – A.W. Tozer
• Spiritual exercises:
  • Fixed hour of prayer – sacredspace.org, gateway.org
  • Journaling
  • Fasting – it is really feasting when you seek God! To increase our appetite for what God has for us
  • Seeking mindfulness
  • Service – scheme together, how do you want to serve – the community, God; both physically giving of time & energy, and financially)
• Talk about what traditions you want to start together? With your family?

A HAPPY, LASTING MARRIAGE

• “When you marry someone you marry a set of problems.”
• Their (and your) personality/instincts/temperaments won’t change – don’t try to change one another. Think, ‘At their core, what makes them tick?’
• You don’t really ever know each other. Become a student of your partner.
• Create a culture of appreciate & fondness.
• The 20-Minute Stress-Reducing conversation: A common factor for all couples who stay together, asking ‘How’s your day?’ &  listening to one another.
• Pick your ritual (for the stress-reducing convo)! Whether pillow talk, a tea/coffee/glass of wine after dinner, etc, just make time to download each other’s days. Crucial to the health of your relationship.
• Rituals you share together are important. Create & cultivate (examples: taking a bath together every Friday night, drinking coffee on the porch every morning, etc…whatever you both like and want to enjoy together).
• Be self-responsible. No blame of other(s).
• Go to battle for each other.
• Always side with each other. Use phrases like “What you’re feeling makes perfect sense,” “I would feel the same way,” and  ”I can see why you feel this way…”
• The real masters of marriage DO NOT do marriage based on feelings.
• Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it – play the “I choose to like you” game when things are tense (as a ‘repair attempt’).
• Treat your spouse like your best friend to develop positive sentiment if things are hard or distant between you.
• ALWAYS BE REACHING FOR EACH OTHER.
• Know that your ways of loving change over time.
• Emotional responsiveness & attunement will keep your marriage together.
• Practice and cultivate good SELF-CARE – that means for you individually in community, spiritually, emotionally, physically, self-responsibility, choices…take a HOLISTIC approach to your own life. (We all need togetherness and separateness).
• Go on a DREAM HUNT: share your dreams with each other at every level, regularly talk about and ask one another (vocation, finances, dates, kids, community, family, leisure time, friendships, hobbies,  future, etc)
• It is up to each one of you to BE ALIVE! “I have come so that you may have life to the full!” – Jesus
• Know neither of you are the sum of your thoughts & emotions – we are MORE than that.
• Reflection: carve off time (put it in the calendar, or do on a date night!) -
  • Structure fun time each week without problem talk.
  • Structure 30 minutes each week to reflect about self, others, your marital relationship, children, life & purpose.
  • Occasionally look at the rhythms of your week & take turns to plan an ideal weekly structure.
  • Look at the rhythms of your year & select times for the ‘feeding of the family soul’
  • Ask “what’s working & not working right now?”
  • Anchor an annual trip together that STAYS.
• BE PROACTIVE! Invest in one another, invest in your relationship. If your spouse is your priority, does your time, money/bank account, effort, thoughts, conversations, etc, reflect that?

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

1. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No & Take Control of Your Life (almost done reading it now and it really has been changing my life – so liberating! Definitely recommend it to everyone!) 
2. The Gifts of Imperfection
3. 10 Conversations You Must Have Before You Get Married
4. Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
5. A Celebration of Sex
6. Intended for Pleasure
7. Passionate Marriage

All of this was just SOME of what they taught us in the sessions. I took mad notes, and then we got a huge packet of tools, worksheets, and conversation starters. We also took a relationship test called “Prepare & Enrich” which compared our answers to one another and gave us a lot to talk about. It was all extremely valuable for Chad & I both, and we’ve continued to talk about many of the things above.

We are SO THANKFUL we can begin this exciting new adventure together, which such incredible encouragement, examples, hope, and guidance! I pray the same for you…

“THEN WE SAT ON THE EDGE OF THE EARTH, WITH OUR FEET DANGLING OVER THE SIDE, AND    MARVELED THAT WE HAD FOUND EACH OTHER.”           - Erick Dillard

wild polar bears FACE TO FACE!?

GASP! One of the few things I subscribe to is the awesome travel site Matador Trips. What a delightful, adrenaline-raising pre-thanksgiving treat, but a Twitter contest to win a trip to see wild polar bears face to face in the Canadian Arctic (what?!)…

Pardon my many tweets this week as I have fun entering this incredible opportunity! I’m not one for contests normally, but wowzers – I might die if I won!

Inspired by the smell of adventure in the air, as well as a trip to Colorado TOMORROW (3 days with Chad’s family for Thanksgiving, then back to the Ozarks for 3 days with mine, WAHOO, so excited!), I thought this was the perfect time to post some recent pics from my travels.

Back to San Francisco for work, play in the country, walks, puppies, dogs, trips home, my love, and more…

Until next time! (With polar bears!)

oxo,

Erin

The millions of women you don’t hear about

This article is something I am passionate about, and helped write for one of my clients, The Way Women Work (it is in her voice, as founder – she has a remarkable story). I think the topic is so so interesting and wanted to help spread the knowledge a bit more! :) (Also, it’s Global Entrepreneurship Week! So I’ve been having fun with that.) Thanks for letting me share!

——–

The Millions of High-Growth Women Entrepreneurs You Don’t Hear About

Originally from the Middle East, Founder of The Way Women Work Rania Anderson grew up in the developing world and then came to the United States at age 16 to attend university and grad school at Georgetown University. After a successful 16-year corporate career at Bank of America, she started her own executive consulting business that thrived for 15 years. Now: Rania helps accelerate women professionals and entrepreneurs in emerging and developing economies.

I have a question for you. Where in the world do you think these women work?

The founders and CEOs of: an architectural firm with multi-country business and acclaim, a nationally recognized PR firm, an animation company, a multi-country high-tech company, a mobile application development company, an online review site, a consulting firm, an event planning business, an eco-travel business, a gaming company, and a business that transforms antiquities into beautiful home furnishings.

If you guessed the United States, Europe, or Canada, you guessed incorrectly.

These women founders and CEOs are from Asia, Africa, Latin America, the Middle East and Russia. They represent a very small sampling of hundreds of women that I have had the immense privilege to meet, interview, and study as the founder of The Way Women Work.

This level of achievement among women in the developing and emerging markets may be surprising to some people given that the vast majority of images and stories about women in these countries show them as victims, oppressed, uneducated or struggling. Although we don’t hear nearly enough about them, my research indicates that there are millions of high-growth women entrepreneurs in emerging and developing economies.

My research indicates that there are millions of high-growth women entrepreneurs in emerging and developing economies.

My son’s generation is sometimes called the “first globals.” And although I was technically born at the tail-end of the baby boomer generation, I consider myself a global citizen. Originally from the Middle East, I grew up in the developing world. I have lived all over the Arab world as well as in England, Iran and India and have traveled extensively. I attended high school in Bahrain with students from 40 different countries. The girls (and boys) I went to school with were intelligent, confident and driven. I came to the United States at age 16 to attend university and grad school at Georgetown University where I continued to study with incredibly intelligent women and men from all over the world.

Like many entrepreneurs in developing countries, my professional experience started in the corporate sector. I had a wonderfully rewarding 16-year corporate career at Bank of America, and its predecessor banks contributing in a variety of capacities. Achieving results and with the right assignments mentors and sponsors, I attained a senior leadership position. In 1997, I left the corporate world to launch my own business. Over the next 15 years, I successfully built an executive business coaching, business consulting practice where I worked with and mentored men and women around the world.

Over time, I saw a gap and a great need. In my travels, research, and conversations, highly successful and aspiring business women around the world repeatedly told me that they didn’t have enough confidence, qualifications, mentors, sponsors, role models, networks, information, access and/or funding.

Highly successful and aspiring business women around the world repeatedly told me that they didn’t have enough confidence, qualifications, mentors, sponsors, role models, networks, information, access and/or funding.

So two years ago, I took another leap in business to create The Way Women Work, a free resource and the go-to place for women globally to seek and share business and career advice.

I’ve always been weary of the barrage of images and talk about obstacles and barriers women face because I’ve regularly seen women  in emerging and developing countries (including myself) who overcome and work around obstacles to succeed. Yet we continually hear more about their obstacles than about business women who are succeeding and how they got there. This is why at Way Women Work, our approach is different. Our approach is : “They did it – so can you! And here’s how…”

At The Way Women Work  we believe that when women share their successes, they inspire ALL women to succeed professionally. We:

• Focus on successes and workarounds, not obstacles
• Share women’s progress, not their plight
• Are driven by optimism, hope, confidence and equality
• Believe that women are heroes not victims
• Provide a place for self directed learning where women learn from and are inspired by the stories and advice of other women, virtual mentors and role models.
• Feature and celebrate women entrepreneurs, professionals, women in corporations and family businesses, women who are just starting out, women at the top, and women in the middle, from developing, emerging, and developed nations
• Introduce women globally to the organizations and resources that support and enable their success

This week is Global Entrepreneurship Week. No matter your country or position, we CELEBRATE YOU and hope will join us in celebrating the millions of high-growth women entrepreneurs around the world!

Join the conversation and our fast-growing global community, @TheWayWomenWork or on Facebook.

(Originally published on thewaywomenwork.com)

do not despise your inner world

I spend too much time fighting with my inner feelings, dialogue, thoughts, and expectations. “I should feel ______, I need to do ______, I shouldn’t feel ______, why do I think ______or feel like ______, I have to ______, I can’t believe I still haven’t ______, Why can’t I/When will I______…”

While there are times interspersed in my day when this is inner world is complimentary, positive and empowering, it is definitely rarer. So too often, the result is I am too hard on myself. It’s not very enjoyable, peaceful or healthy. (The “Exploding Soul” name/identity came as a reflection of all things swirling in me, GOOD and bad, ideas, passion, drive, love, and more, often feeling like I am about to burst with it all!)

What helps? I rely on good friends to make fun of me (thanks Stef!), mentors to give me perspective (thanks Rania!), people to talk me through it when I’m stuck (thanks Chad & mom), friends to make me laugh (thanks Chad & Rach!), friends to encourage me (thanks SMont!) lots of prayer, naps, writing, grace as I learn, time in nature or traveling, disconnecting from technology of any kind, and overall, telling myself: “Ease up babe! Give yourself an $%^&ing break :) You’re doing beautifully, you are great. It’s all ok. Seriously, relax.”

And then today I read this excerpt from a BrainPicking Weekly email, a breath of fresh air:

Do not despise your inner world. That is the first and most general piece of advice I would offer…

Our society is very outward-looking, very taken up with the latest new object, the latest piece of gossip, the latest opportunity for self-assertion and status. But we all begin our lives as helpless babies, dependent on others for comfort, food, and survival itself. And even though we develop a degree of mastery and independence, we always remain alarmingly weak and incomplete, dependent on others and on an uncertain world for whatever we are able to achieve.

As we grow, we all develop a wide range of emotions responding to this predicament: fear that bad things will happen and that we will be powerless to ward them off; love for those who help and support us; grief when a loved one is lost; hope for good things in the future; anger when someone else damages something we care about. Our emotional life maps our incompleteness: A creature without any needs would never have reasons for fear, or grief, or hope, or anger.

But for that very reason we are often ashamed of our emotions, and of the relations of need and dependency bound up with them. Perhaps males, in our society, are especially likely to be ashamed of being incomplete and dependent, because a dominant image of masculinity tells them that they should be self-sufficient and dominant.

So people flee from their inner world of feeling, and from articulate mastery of their own emotional experiences. The current psychological literature on the life of boys in America indicates that a large proportion of boys are quite unable to talk about how they feel and how others feel – because they have learned to be ashamed of feelings and needs, and to push them underground. But that means that they don’t know how to deal with their own emotions, or to communicate them to others. When they are frightened, they don’t know how to say it, or even to become fully aware of it. Often they turn their own fear into aggression. Often, too, this lack of a rich inner life catapults them into depression in later life.

We are all going to encounter illness, loss, and aging, and we’re not well prepared for these inevitable events by a culture that directs us to think of externals only, and to measure ourselves in terms of our possessions of externals.

What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings.

Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories – in literature, film, visual art, music – that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world.

So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love.

In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.”

- Philosopher Martha Nussbaum

I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

- Excerpt from Rainer Maria Rilke’s 1903 classic, Letters to a Young Poet

Wishing you, wishing ME, more self-love, patience, music, reading & overall being enriched/guided by others’ STORIES!

You are amazing.

Erin

P.S. All photos are taken by me, from my travels the past few months – in order of appearance – Kansas (I live in the country now :) ! ), Niagara Falls, Colorado, San Francisco, Grand Tetons/Yellowstone.

wild and free!

“Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel.”

- Alan Moore

Thinking over the past view months since I last wrote three months ago: WOWZERS. So blasted much has happened. (Proceed at your own risk!)

The BEST part about this hard year / huge changes / new path is the real confidence and contentment - not the fake it til I make it attempts – that has finally taken root and is blooming in me, more than ever before. It feels so so good to say I feel happier now than I have been in a long time (maybe ever, as far as self-satisfaction and self-love go), and am learning to embrace MY OWN way, my unique journey, not to compare or care what others think (easier said than done), and how much I am capable of…I am so thankful.

“In the depth of winter, I found in me an invincible summer.”

- Albert Camus

In April, I founded ExplodingSoul LLC and since leaving Water.org have been pretty heads down with my two awesome clients/jobs: I am Director of Digital for The Way Women Work and Marketing Director at SpiderOak [both about to launch new websites within the next month!].

The Way Women Work: the go-to site for women around the world to seek and share business and career advice.  (I work with the founder, Rania Anderson – an AMAZING woman who I feel so privileged to support and learn from on a daily basis. I began doing freelance for her last November, just a few hours a week, and I always hoped that an opportunity to work more/closer with her would develop. You really need to read about her here.)

SpiderOak: like Dropbox, but for the privacy conscious – the only 100% private online backup / share / sync provider in the cloud. (This connection came from a good friend; they have 27 employees around the world, and I work regularly with Alan Fairless, its CTO. He is a co-founder and one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. I love getting together with him on a regular basis, learning from him, and am encouraged by his great faith in me!)

As you can probably deduct, there are VERY different jobs, but both are developing a wide-array of new complementary skills in me, sharpening my strengths, are each fascinating in their own right, and I really enjoy and appreciate them each for different reasons. Overall, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the flexibility and freedom of working for myself. It of course took awhile to settle into learning how I work best and balancing each, but I think the past few weeks I’ve found a lovely good stride. The intense stress I was feeling in my previous job left almost immediately, and because I enjoy this work so much and its timing in my life and soul, it is just a completely different and fuzzy feeling all around. I work most often at coffeeshops, from home, and sometimes at friends’ houses.

I’ve also been on the road quite a bit!

Park City, Utah, with Rania in May to begin our work together…

Chicago to visit friends for my birthday, as well as meet up with some SpiderOakians who live there…

Went to Memphis (twice actually, one was a quick weekend trip, one was a week-long visit) to enjoy my grandparents, the pool, and see an old friend there as well….

It’s worth noting that on my way to Memphis (trip #2) I fulfilled one of my life goals, and picked up hitchhikers! I had a “good gut feeling” about them and that I should do it, and even had a debate with myself and God before I went through with it, but it was such a great experience. We shared a three hour car ride from Mammoth Springs, Arkansas (photos right below), to Memphis. The two 24-year-old guys, Matt and Colin, had been living on a commune in Tecumseh, Missouri, gardening and such. They were so nice, and they said their moms worry about them (just as mine did after I told her what I did! Ha!) It was nice to be reminded of other ways of life, and share in a journey together. It was a great start to my trip and I will never forget them or the experience.

“Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.”

- Kurt Vonnegut

My brother and I played a song he wrote at my cousin’s wedding (I wish I had more photos!) It was a hot, windy day in Kansas…

And the most recent escapades – after three years of struggling with my eczema and only going the natural route (and seeing a HUGE improvement mind you), per my yoga teacher’s prompting via a meditation she had about me and my skin (crazy! cool! weird!), I went to a dermatologist again and got a steroid shot in me bum, and a topical steroid cream. Well I’LL BE DAMNED. My skin has not looked like this since MAYBE high school, but maybe even never this good. It is completely foreign to me, as someone who has been in so much pain, so self-conscious, and never wearing shorts or short sleeves because of it…I feel like a whole new person! (I know this also contributes a huge amount to how I feel in confidence and my ability to focus completely on my work and enjoy where I am in life!) So there you go…I have no idea if this is it, or if I’ll have to get one again in the future. But I am for the first time ever, comfortable in my own skin!!! And there is nothing better than that feeling. Thank you God!

Another huge update! I have ALSO had plans for the past six weeks to move to Denver with one of my best friends, Maggie. I had told everyone, and we were excited and almost ready to go!

She is in a similar place in life, faith, and love, and we have the current circumstantial freedom (my lease is up at the end of the month!) and thirst for adventure. We love Denver (she used to live there), and so we thought, why not? I could use some cool mountain air, dependable sunshine, and new beauty-full adventures…But just last week, we still had been unable to secure our temporary living arrangement. Then, there was a new development that it looks like Rania and I will be heading to India in September (UMM, YES PLEASE!!!). So Mags and I decided to put it on hold. We/I can always go later, or anytime. We can both honestly say we feel really good about this, relief, and peace :)

New plan: I am going to move in with my wonderful aunt and uncle who live in the country outside of Lawrence. It is so beautiful there, and I know I will enjoy them and their amazing space, to work and rest. I’m happy it’s close to KC so I can make trips in weekly as needed. My two new “roommates” are on the right (below) ;) ….

Farm friends, and views from my new home-to-be. The pic below is out the dining door and onto the back patio (not too shabby!)…

And now being lease-free, I can take advantage of this time in my life to travel and visit friends and family around the country! Upcoming trips already in the next six weeks: Fraser, CO, Park City, UT, Erie, PA, Springfield, MO, McPherson, KC, and Jackson Hole, WY (Yellowstone/Grand Tetons)… Can’t wait!!

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

- Terry Pratchett, from A Hat Full of Sky

Mom and Dad were so kind to come help me move a few of my things into storage last weekend. We had a lot of fun too. Mom, and some city pics (I have too much fun with my iPhone and Instagram)…

And all that is just the HALF of it! ;D

“I have found adventure in flying, in world travel, in business, and even close at hand… Adventure is a state of mind – and spirit.”

- Jacqueline Cochran

A little bonus, should this be of interest (and you have even more time to kill! Ha!)- here are some highlights / articles I’ve written / exciting mentions I’ve had with The Way Women Work and SpiderOak:

• Rania (and I!) on Forbes.com: A Fascinating New Concept: How “Thought Partners” Add Value to Your Business
• Rania in Huffington Post: What I Learned From Madeleine Albright
• SpiderOak was mentioned in Forbes this week: 5 Essential Privacy Tools for the Next Crypto War
• Thus far, here are all of my blogposts for SpiderOak (I’ve had a lot of fun with these)
• I skype-interviewed this absolutely inspiring young woman in the Dominican Republic, Estefany Marte, and wrote a piece for The Way Women Work: From Professional Ballerina to Business Woman. US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton singled out Estefany and her business success in a speech in Russia just last month (a few weeks after we wrote the article too! So cool!)
• This week we had Njeri Rionge, “One of Kenya’s most successful serial entrepreneurs” and one of “African’s Most Successful Women” as named by Forbes, write a guest post for our blog: Tap Intro Your Intrinsic Nature, Further Your Business. Also SO COOL!

As always, thanks for joining me on this crazy, fun, sacred, beautiful road. I truly hope to write more (always), and especially in my travels in the good months to come. I hope this finds you well and seizing up all the potential adventure in your daily life…

(you just have to be open to it...)

major love, you marvelous gem,

Erin

life changes like WHOA

Yep. You’re reading that sign right. My time at Water.org has come to an end. I found that sign in San Fran a few weeks ago just as I was making this decision, and I couldn’t help but smile. Literally – a sign!

After nearly four robust, mind-blowing, beautiful years at the organization, I am busting out on my own to do social media / strategy / community building / content curation / communication consulting work. My last day is this Friday – April 27.

I wish I could tell you more than that :) But true to my “adventure, check yes” fashion, all of the rest is in the works. My goal: locking down two 20 hour a week gigs I am really excited about (in the works), and beyond that, just  making plans to de-stress and travel as much as possible in the coming months to visit loved ones across the country. After all – I’ll be able to work from anywhere!

Next on the list is get my own computer, meet with an accountant, decide on my biz name (any ideas?!), and make some more plans around what I need to start off on the right foot, as well as what this all means for me as a developing professional / adult.

I feel blessed and beyond excited for the freedom to embark on this new chapter.

“I was surprised, as always, by how easy the act of leaving was, and how good it felt. The world was suddenly rich with possibility.” - Jack Kerouac

But on TOP of all of this, and much to my surprise, my 15-month relationship with the man I thought I would marry ended the same week I put in my resignation…GOD, WHAT IS GOING ON?!

I’ve been in shock mode but am grateful that today it all hit me and was able to pour out in the presence of people who love me. I’m grieving on a lot of different levels, but simultaneously have a weird peace about it all. I trust God. He has always lead me to amazing places, with more than I could have ever imagined for myself…I know this is no different.

Last week I went back to my Alma mater, Drury University, to visit all my amazing professors and campus connections to catch up, and one of them told me about “tabula rasa”, a Latin term meaning an absence of preconceived ideas or predetermined goals; a clean slate.

Ha! Yep. No doubt about that.

This momentum and possibility has been invigorating. I’ve read some books over the past six months that have done wonders to expand my views (mostly of myself, my potential!) and lead me to where I am now: Secrets of Six Figure Women, and Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You’re Worth. I would recommend them to ANY woman for inspiration.

So we shall see what adventures ensue in the coming months. Thanks for joining me. One of the things that gives me confidence is knowing that like me, you have been heartbroken, surprised, wrecked, excited, fearful, overjoyed, thankful, sad, and brave…We are never alone. And as my wise and full-of-life roommate said this week: “I’d rather feel, than feeling nothing at all.” Amen.

Ok! Mission accepted. I am going:

Happy World Water Day, ya’ll!

Thanks to my talented friend Hunter Sanders for making this for me/us today – what a nice treat!

Otherwise, just take a sec to appreciate clean water and all the ways it flows in and out of your life and habits each day. A luxury and a necessity. All of us, worldwide, have this in common. Pretty cool. In fact:

Right now, I am enjoying some hot water in my delicious Lemon Mate tea. Mmm.

I had the opportunity to write a post on the UN Foundation blog today. It’s been a really good and exciting today on so many fronts. In particular – all the great tweets people/partners have been doing today in support of our campaign; for those who’ve donated their voice, we’re reaching more than 3.1 million with our message; and our Water Day fundraiser that blew its goal UP and is still growing by the hour. We were also featured on the home page of Huffington Post.

Popular YouTube video blogger WheezyWaiter also published this video today. He went to India with us last month, and does a great job telling about their water situation and solutions at work:

I’ll end with short, delightful message from Matt Damon & Gary White [that is featured on the YouTube home page today]:

Thanks for joining me, Water.org, and so many others today in the name of clean water for all! 

What a neat day. You rock.

Erin